Not exactly, but sometimes I wonder if I had the power to restart my life without stuttering, but keeping my personality, "myself", that I developed through the years. Still, I don't think it's suicidal because I never had the feeling of wanting to end my life, I actually like to live and, I also don't even know if dying would be the "restart" I think it would, maybe there's just nothing after all. Anyway, I don't really wanna try and find out lol I'm good with my stutter, thank you.