For sure. That's sounds rough. I only experienced real fear as a pre-teen/young teenager. I'm lucky to be an extrovert - it's more like I have no confidence (not low confidence). That 0 fucks attitude has helped me a lot. I don't think it's something I developed, just a part of my personality. I strive to be resilient, stoic in my demeanor, low maintenance, and gritty. Not usual in many women I know, but it does help when it comes to my stutter! I hope you can break the cycle, too!