I definitely agree with letting go of the expectation of fluency. I no longer get upset when my speech is a bit choppy. If anything, I only get upset when my emotions are so dysregulated that my speech is affected, rather than about the speech itself, and that's only when it's really bad. I think changing words is fine as long as you're still saying what you want to say - there are so many ways of saying the same thing so I see no point in struggling unnecessarily, and that goes for people who do not stutter as well. But yeah, if changing words changes what you actually want to convey then it's not genuine self-expression; it's avoidance, which is a whole other problem. I mean, you'd want to avoid banging your head against a wall or retraumatisation, but habitually avoiding discomfort can become pathological.