> Can you imagine all the words and conversations I've never had, all the school events I've missed out on, all the job opportunities I've had to pass up on, I truly feel I have been cheated out of any semblance of a decent life. I know I might be sounding selfish as there a lot of person worse off than me but that is just how I feel. I do not consider this "selfish." I also do not subscribe to the it-could-be-worse School of Stiff Upper Lip. Every effing thing "could be worse." Knowing that has never helped me. (I know it does help some. Just saying the fact that things could be worse does not mean you're selfish or self-pitying.) No, of course, I cannot imagine like you and others on this sub can, but....I try freakishly hard to. Ha, that sounds weird, but it's true. I think about it a LOT. Yeah, when you stop drinking, you have to, at least for a good long time if not forever, ditch the people you drink with, in your case, kind of everyone you know. Listen, I KNOW there are problems with AA. It's kind of like democracy, yeah, the worst form of government except for all the others. But it saves people. And it gives them new friends, so to speak. Even if you're annoyed by most of the people there (I probably would be), there are gonna be a few that become true friends. OK, I'm going to shut up now because hitting you with more words has diminishing returns. : )