Content
First day of school Today I had the first day of school, a new school, I grew up in the archipelago in a very small school but now I’ve moved and just started this really big high school, I’m 15F, I’ve been so incredibly nervous about this, because of my stutter and the fact that I only have one friend that started this same school, and we are in different classes so we can’t be together anyways, today went horrible , I had contacted a speech therapist at this school some time ago and asked about how these first days will look like( if there is going to be a lot of moments where we have to introduce ourselves for example) and she made sure I wouldn’t have to introduce my self( because I genuinely can’t, i get so nervous so my jaw just shuts and I can’t speak at all), but anyways, I had to do something way worse, my whole class( 22 people) had to do this name game, standing in a circle the first person said their name and something they like, and then the next person has to say what the other person said and then say their own name and something they like, so for example the 10th person in order had to say the names and what they liked of the 10 previous people, and guess what, I was LAST in the order, so I would have had to say everyone’s name and what they likes including mine, I have never been so nervous, I ended up saying when it was my turn “ I don’t remember” and then I quickly said my name, everyone was silent and looked at me, god I was shaking, I felt like I was about to burst into tears and pass out at the same time for the rest of the day. To make it even worse everyone in my class knows each other from before and are friends, and then it’s me who knows nobody and can’t introduce my self to anybody. It’s been the worst day ever and I can’t stop crying, I feel like I’m not going to be able to befriend anyone in this fucking school. I’m posting this just to vent and maybe someone else who’s had a horrible experience with the stutter can tell me about it to make me feel a bit less lonely about my disability, and if you have any tips please let me know, thank you for taking you’re time to read this and I’m sorry for my bad spelling, my native language is not English.