I can relate to this. I have turned 30 this year and I had pushed nice people away in my youth because I think I am unworthy. Upon reflection the thought of myself as lesser competent than others is rather foolish. It is unhealthy and tends to create a vicious cycle of self-destructive thoughts. I regret for all the years lost to inaction, I only have myself to blame. There are all sort of activities we can do to improve ourselves rather than sitting idle and waiting for a miracle. To take the first step is usually difficult, but to endure the pain and still fight on in the face of unnoticeable progress is more challenging. I personally would advise against the recommendation of seek help from a professional for several reasons. Professionals have their priority set on making money and they are expensive. It is a paid service and it **cant** guarantee results which can be frustrating for some. Although credit where credit is due, professional work wonders for children, less so for adults. At the end of the day, the power of change lies with us. If we desires change, we can do so with or without the professionals. All the things that a professional offers can be find online and this one community alone can offer the support of many professionals combined.