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Struggling mentally I am 27 year old man with a stutter, which I have had since the age of 6. I am ashamed to admit, I am nearly 30 and I still have not come to terms with this speech disorder. I can confidently say that I have allowed my stammer to dictate every aspect of my life. I have no friends and no social life. I have a deep fear of people seeing me stutter and I am afraid they might react negatively to it. I am not sure why, but I really care about people’s opinions on me. I think they might judge me harshly and think I have some sort of mental condition. I have been accused of being drunk in the past when I stutter, and I have also experienced being laughed at. These experiences are very hurtful and make me feel worthless because I can’t do something so basic. The worst part about it is I feel so alone. I have no one in my life because I am too afraid of speaking. I currently work in a warehouse and I am really quiet at work. Some of my coworkers constantly ask me why I am so quiet and the others seem to just avoid me and think I am a weird guy since I rarely speak. I have also had people in my work place have problems with me because I tend to keep to myself. I think some people think I must be stuck up or arrogant for not talking to. A new girl at work always avoid me, I am guessing the others must of said things about me, so she probably thinks I am a weirdo. All I do is just not speak lol. I try not to let it get to me, but it is upsetting because they all misunderstand me. I just wish I could freely speak and not have to think about whether I stutter or not. The thought of people hearing me stutter is so disturbing to me that I prefer to just me mute. This is a sad way to live. I am currently going through depression now and everything seems too much. I want to desperately change my life, but this stutter makes it so hard and makes me feel so defeated. I can’t even order what I want from a restaurant because I can’t say what I really want. Phone calls are painful and I stutter really badly on the phone. I don’t know how to carry on and sometimes I have dark thoughts where I no longer want to be on earth. I just feel so trapped and I don’t feel free. I thought by this age I would be past this stage. Maybe it’s because I never got support from family or anyone in my life. I was left to deal with it myself. I am at breaking point and I don’t know what to do.