>I still refused to speak and I can’t tell what’s stopping me exactly I think you've indicated the reasons why yourself: >1. I can’t stand the sound of my own voice or the thought that others can hear it >2. having to put the great effort to hide my stutter or tamper with its severity >3. I’ll be undermined, ignored, and judged So you don't want it out, you'd rather hide it instead, because you don't want to suffer from it. That's actually quite common - to avoid something out of self-protection. However, we need to look into whether that's warranted, here. Let's look at each of the points again. >1\. I can’t stand the sound of my own voice or the thought that others can hear it Presumably, this isn't just about the actual sound of your voice, but rather what happens when you stutter. You don't like what the stutter does, and you don't like that others can hear it. But the fact is, it's just a sound. Nothing is implied here other than the simple fact that sometimes it'll sound a bit different from what you wanted. In principle, all people face this challenge about communication, regardsless of whether they stutter or not. Yes, we sometimes stutter. No, this doesn't mean the world ends. We have to look at the end result instead: Did I get my point across? This is obviously quite doable, even with some sounds being a bit different. >2\. having to put the great effort to hide my stutter or tamper with its severity So, to escape those sounds you don't want to happen, you spend all this energy trying to pretend like it's not there or that it's so small that nobody notices (or whatever). But the thing is, the struggle we already have, when we're in a stutter, and we need to spend some extra time and effort to work through it, is taxing already. We don't need any additional thing to spend energy on, or replace it with somethat's more taxing. We'll likely confuse ourselves, or lose track of the overall flow, or maybe even end up confusing the listener. This is not recommended. It'd be better if we could just focus on that initial thing we wanted to say, and then move through it, to carry out the conversation as we saw fit. >3\. I’ll be undermined, ignored, and judged Here, you expect that the other will think less of you or won't want to spend time with you anymore. But that's all in your head, of course. It's something you're going to have to work with, this mindset of being rejected, simply because of some sounds being a bit different. It's a shame to end up in that headspace, because it keeps you from taking part in communication activity that would actually show you your own value, and that people do want to pay attention to you, and that they don't think less of you. We stutterers tend to focus very much on all the bad things. We forget the good things. We succumb to fear. Don't be afraid. It's just a stutter. It's just a thing that some people have. No biggie. Focus on what you want to say - and actually say it!