Yeah man exactly. I've been through that all my life also, and have had horrendous experiences..but at my age even though I'm younger than you by almost 20 years I'm burnt out and done with life.. I used to always fight my way through the fear to not be seen of feel like a bitch. But now I could give no fucks at all if I'm perceived as weak for not putting myself through that if I have a choice. I just want as much peace as possible because my whole life I felt like I was serving time in hell..I think unless it's a important obligation we should start looking out for ourselves & not give a shit about being a bitch or what others think since most ppl could walk a mile in our shoes...life is meant to be mostly enjoyed not suffered though in my opinion. So take care of yourself bro. When people disresct us like little kids we have to remember that they probably wouldn't have made it far if they had our problems.