Hi, I'm 60, and I literally have had a lifetime of exactly what you describe. My stutter has held me back in everything, I go from one dead end job to another, I feel ashamed and embarrassed almost everyday,.. I've had a lifetime of not ever been able to hold a proper conversation, even with my own family, .. I would love to say it gets easier, but for me if never has, you just learn to live with it, and at the same time hate it!