Wow. This really resonated with me. I felt the same way from a very early age about "not knowing what to do with my life" but i now know that my rudderless thoughts about the future were born out of the hopelessness of my youth. Now I work as a professional writer/blogger/marketing guy and ironically, my stutter was probably the most helpful catalyst because it caused me to become a walking thesaurus. I always felt uniquely liberated when I wrote. Anyway, you're probably like me. As a youth, I would watch TV and say to myself "Damn, I'll never be able to be a lawyer/doctor/actor/whatever because those guys doing those jobs look so confident speaking and owning at their professions" But after awhile, you learn that you can. I dabbled in acting, public speaking, holding work meetings, doing presentations and all those little victories finally reversed my own bad hard-wiring. I found my real career pretty late in life (28 years old) and that's okay. You should read "What Color is Your Parachute?" It's about figuring who you are as a person and what you want out of life. Don't worry so much about time lost, all that shit is in your rear view mirror now.