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confidence and belief systems Hey everyone. This is the first time I've posted here and I felt compelled to just reach out to this community because I have never been close to another stutterer before, and it still feels kind of weird knowing there are others like me out there. I guess I'll just start by saying that I'm 27, and have stuttered since I was about 5 or so from what I remember. Like a lot of us, it started with pretty incessant repetitions in my formative years and eventually developed into moderate to severe blocking. School was a nightmare, and I remember feeling so much heartache and pain when I stuttered in front of people. I remember being bullied and looked down upon by my peers, I remember the constant struggle to be accepted. All of these experiences led to inherent belief systems of self doubt and inferiority within myself, which I want to talk about. I feel like this impediment has created this irreversible outlook on life. I feel like it has moulded my mind to have a default setting of insecurity and constant rumination. I'm almost never present with people. I constantly dwell on my blocks and the reactions of others, and it destroys my relationships. I feel so much anger and pain because of my stutter. I feel angry that it won't ever be possible to join in on the social level that the world plays at, to be apart of regular, fast flowing and witty discourse. I feel like an observer. I don't know how these belief systems I hold will become undone, but I cannot possibly see a world where I am completely okay with how I speak. Maybe these thought patterns can be changed, and I know that glimmer of confidence that I have experienced on rare occasions can be expanded on and practiced, but it just feels totally outweighed by my core beliefs. It feels like a tangible sharp pain when I stutter around people, and it seems involuntary. I feel trapped in my mind, you know? All i want is to express myself freely and to share love in this world (corny, I know), but I can't. I physically and mentally cannot do what I want, and it makes me sad. Knowing I can speak to others out there about this might be the first step in a long journey, so I hope this makes sense to you. (edit): thank you all so much for your responses and advice, it's amazing to hear back from people who actually understand.