There are two lines of thought in what you're writing that I'd like to ask about, if you don't mind. 1. When you say people around you "don't understand", what do you mean? Are you telling them anything about your stutter? 2. When you say you struggle, and then go on to say that you can't say things, is it because you give up saying what you wanted? Do you always say something else? Do you avoid stuttering on that which you struggle with?