It definitely is me, no question about, my SO has been really cool about it and the one time I mentioned being turned off by it he said I was nuts, so please no hate for him. This is just me being bothered by not being able to speak fluently. Thanks for your response, you're absolutely right that I should work on my self esteem. I don't being it up much with him but he knows of gets me down and that can kill a good mood.