Sometimes, it just doesn't feel enough

Sometimes, it just doesn't feel enough First of all, I'd like to apologize for this pointless rant but I just need to get this out of myself and I feel like people here are the only ones who can understand what I am talking about. I've been stuttering all my 22 years of life so far, and I've generally come to accept it. It's part of who I am and I feel that that it has brought a lot of positive in my life. I might not be able to get all the words out but as long as I can get my point across I don't mind it. But I am currently in one of those phases when it just feels impossible to get whole sentence out and I feel so beaten and defeated. Every effort I put into myself as a person to improve and be my best possible version, firstly for myself and then for other people around me feels so futile and pointless in times like this. I really believe that I am doing my best to improve and be decent human being, but what's the point when I can't share what I feel with others? What's the point if I look like an idiot trying to talk to others? The worst part is that it's been almost 2 years since my last relationship that lasted for 4 years and I have no idea how to meet girls and develop that kind of relationship with someone again. I just want deep and meaningful relationship with another human being, but this has brought me to browsing through r/foreveralone and mindset of people there just makes everything worse. I know it's just a phase and that it will pass. That I just have to keep pushing through and doing my best but sometimes, it just doesn't feel that's it's enough. Thank you for listening.