How do you guys manage to live in this world ?

How do you guys manage to live in this world ? When I was young , hanging out with many friends but avoided to say the words which might stuttered me and I am good at saying funny stuff so I have a lot of Friendly friends But when I got older and moved to abroad... stuttering is turning to pretty terrible. Then I faced a lot bullies in uni and people who gossiped me behind my back. And hard to make friends For presentation, I am so afraid and I couldn't sleep well when I have to do presentation in the next day. During presentation , my whole body is shaken, nervous and heaps of stuttering. When I talked with comfortable person, I don't stutter much but when I talk with Angry or Impatient people , I stutter a lot. Most of the times I found something funny to say , I couldn't say well and I have been isolated Now I am working at Subway Fast Food. I avoid the place where I have to deal customers and I never pick up the phone. For suicidal thoughts , yea I do have sometimes but I know it is not the answer and I won't do and also if I suicide , my mom will be so sad. And I have depressed a lot. Last Saturday , I took IELTS exam which includes speaking test. I stuttered 80% of the questions with long awkward pauses. This exam is really important for me. Now I am waiting for my results with so much worrying. Have you guys ever tried see Hypnotist ? Or any program you have found ? Or medicine or techniques ? Please suggest me Thank you (Sorry for my bad English and grammar )