24f/stutter/anxiety/unemployed/dealing w/ schizophrenic mom

24f/stutter/anxiety/unemployed/dealing w/ schizophrenic mom I had graduated from college in 2023 in speech pathology and after graduation I have only worked odd jobs in past 3 years (1) gopuff (warehouse job) worked 1 month quit 1 month (social anxiety/graveyard shift every day) (2) case manager/ Social worker worked 1 month quit (it was a stressful job to me had 16 clients they were needy and some annoying/plus job was dangerous) (3) Macys worked temporary $15/hr job for 1 month (stood there and sold perfume) (4) early intervention call center/service coordinator worked for 1 month I had quit because I didn’t like it plus I had issues at home my mom has schizophrenia. (5) Whole Foods market (warehouse) worked for 1 month it was actually good no contact with people but got fired because of 3 strikes of attendance issues there was 3 times I was late (we’re very strict with attendance). Now for 2 months I have been unemployed and stressed out about it. Anyone have advice of potential jobs I could do? I was thinking kids as they always bring smile people faces . Currently right now I live with my mom and grandpa. My mom has developed over the years a schizophrenia illness and she believes she’s talking to god, her ancestors, Esp her deceased mother, she does tarot on YouTube (10 k subscribers). Believes her family is after to kill her and are masons.Most importantly she argues with my 84 yr grandpa who has high blood pressure issues (harassing him). He could potentially have a heart attack from her. But we are in the process get her help. Personally, me I have a stutter issue has my whole life (it was manageable barely had it , but it has got worst I believe because of stress/anxiety dealing like with my mom and being unemployed. I’m really embarrassed of it and block on every thing now can’t get my words out like I can’t breathe. Have many embarrassing encounters from it 🤷🏽‍♀️, but keep pushing through. I did speech therapy for a year In 2021 but stop doing it because I was working. My dad gives me 200 a week which is helpful, but of course I still need a job. Plus I am 27,000 in debt (student loans) that I’m weird about paying back (hopefully debt forgiveness goes through). I had a boyfriend but we broke up in May 2022 because hewas narcissistic and bipolar literally would verbally/ mentally abuse me (he had out bursts) because of his family issues/traumas). I miss him to be honest and still hurt from that (he still at times stuck me by EMAILING me loll and wants to get back together). But I’m staying strong not to g back to him. I just can’t believe this is my life right now… I feel completely alone because of my mom situation (I have family such as uncle/aunts live by me but I’m afraid to see them on my own because of my stutter issues) , I have low self esteem because of my stutter issues which is hard to seek employment. Plus social anxiety. I honestly have throughout past 2-3 years been having suicidal thoughts because of my circumstances in life but they to pull through and have faith that there is hope as I want to start my own family one day. I have a therapist for a year now and she telling me I need to focus o myself and not let my mom illness ruin my life. But she doesn’t see improvements n me in last year as I still deal with anxiety issues and saying therapy might not be for me as she sees no changes (so basically giving up on me). I had taken medication for a month but didn’t like it felt even more depressed I go to church every other Sunday because with these negative thoughts in my head and suicidal thoughts/circumstances I feel like I need to be close to Jesus/God. ….I honestly at wits end idk what to do anymore …any advice ? I live in Brooklyn NY (NYC)