I don't think you have anything to be ashamed of. Moreover, I think you've already come to a conclusion and maybe it's a good one. You can't "cure" your stutter. And it's ok, my friend. Some get rid of it, some don't. It's ok either way imo. I've come to the same conclusion some years ago and since then I've seriously improved - up to the point where I can make a phone call and not stutter almost at all. I still get anxious and maybe stutter a few times, but I brush it off well enough now. If I can put my finger on something that made this possible it would be confidence and a new mindset towards stuttering. What I mean by that is that I've stopped thinking how good life would be without stuttering, how well I would feel if my stuttering disappeared and all the things I would do without it. The truth is it's all bulls*it and you already can do all that stuff. The only barrier you have is an imaginary one. So instead of putting my energy into "curing" my stutter and making it disappear, I've started to own up to it. I stutter and it's ok. I've started working on my shame of it and of others. Maybe people laugh because of my stutter, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they laugh at me. Sometimes stuttering is funny ( I don't think it is, but I can understand why people might think it is), the kind of funny that is similar to someone falling or something falling on someone. You probably shouldn't laugh, but you do. What also helped me is that I try to see how stuttering is actually making my life harder in a practical way. I know it feels very tough and hard, but usually it comes down to taking a longer time to say some words or sentences. It doesn't sound so devastating when you put it like that, does it? I know you're thinking "what about the words I can't say because of it?", my friend, the way I see it, you can say those too, eventually. It just takes longer than other words do. If you "can't" say some words, it's because you think others don't have the patience to wait for you or worse, you don't have the patience to say them. Have patience, my friend and own up to your stutter. Things might improve. I hope this helped and you have my support and love. Take care, brothers/sisters.