Don't blame god (man in the sky???) for your neurological issue. ACCEPT IT, then move on with your life man. You're world view needs a change and you need to get in touch with a speech therapist and learn how to manage it. All hope is not lost, you just have to look beyond yourself and you will find peace of mind is waiting there. Don't keep feeling sorry for yourself as you will only perpetuated your sadness. Just look online for techniques and it will help. I personally find pausing and slowing down my speech a bit to help. It will be hard at first but once you start making progress you'll be happier than you've ever been, I'm sure of that.