i don't feel comfortable with talking to anyone

i don't feel comfortable with talking to anyone i don't really feel comfortable with talking to anyone, even with my parents sometimes. when i try to tell a story, my mom would immediately take notice of every single stutter that i made and kind of scold me for it:( she'd notice every single one, even when my face would just twitch whenever i try to not stutter in front of her. i felt very nervous when her attention is on me. but she is very kind and loving she just doesn't understand that i really couldn't control my stutter. i hope that she would though, someday, because i have loads of stories to tell her that i couldn't. my closest friends. one of my close friends made an insensitive 'joke' about my stutter twice on a same day and it really made me feel bad, insecure and made me feel that i wasn't trying hard enough to control my stutter. i'm prolly over dramatic but i cried so many times because of it and that joke that she made still lives in my mind rent free. even my dad and some of my relatives made an insensitive joke about it too. my relatives would sometimes ask me why i still stutter even when i am already a grown teenager. they'd made a joke or insult me about it. i couldn't tell it all here, it'll be long bcs they've done it couple of times. but they are kind people and just didn't understand that i couldn't control it. i forgive them though, i just couldn't forget it. it will probably be in my mind forever. i am really wishing for a better environment where i could really talk freely. i just want to not feel bad and feel normal. sorry i had to vent, its 2am here and i just couldn't sleep because these things are on my head again. thank u for reading my ted write xo