When its good it’s great but when it rains it pours
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When its good it’s great but when it rains it pours How do you cope with your bad days? The days where you can barely get out anything and your days are full of mhms, yeah’s and nods because that’s all you can do on the day. Im currently having one of those days. Where conversation just flys by you and you’re just kind of standing there but unable to participate cos the convo is just moving fast and flowing as it does - and you want to contribute but you physically can’t. No matter what positive mindset I’m in, or the small wins I push myself to do every day to get me out of my comfort zone that feel great in the moment; empowering like I’m forcing out my personality because I have to and I owe it to myself to be the best version of myself. But it doesn’t last. I feel like all the hard work I put into myself over the years have unravelled and I’m forced to explain myself… cause I just KNOW everyone around me is looking at me questionably like ‘what happened to you?’ 😳 As if I’m an imposter. I’ve been forcing myself out of my comfort zone and doing things that I would avoid on a bad day, but it seems like this bad period of stuttering is just impossible to shake. I was never 100% fluent but I’ve gotten to great points in my life where I was content, confident and could have a perfectly flowing conversation with ANYONE. Now I can barely have a conversation without blocking. How can you be so fluent for so many years and then go completely backwards for no reason? It’s just frustrating to be in a really great place and thinking you’ve conquered it all together just to get a big slap in the face and unravel all your hard work, back to square 1. I don’t want this to come across as ‘depressing’ and I’m sorry if this sounds that way. I just feel like when ur younger it’s more acceptable to stutter but when you’re almost 30, and ur vocabulary is so limited people think ur slow or dumb. Having so much to say and just being silent because you don’t want to take up people’s time. And like someone else posted which is very relatable, you feel like half a person.. like you’re not at your fullest potential & not really being you. Anyway, I’m thankful for this group because I know you guys understand more than anyone. We understand each others struggles and the happiness we get out of being the BEST version of ourselves. It’s abit of a shit day but giving up isn’t an option. So, onwards 💘