Don't beat down on yourself. I'm now 39 and have had the shittest times also. Every time I'm in work I have to do a handover at the end of shifts in the quietest fucking room phone. I still am a nightmare on the phone. Sometimes my use of English makes me sound like a fucking moron and I can appreciate that lol. However I've amazing kids, a good group of friends and overall a pretty decent person so I couldn't give a shit less. Everything works itself out just we have to worry about this daft shit.