commentr/StutterMay 24, 2021

Content

There's a lot of posts here that handwave the concern of getting a job by suggesting "just be confident lol", and I believe this is absolutely harmful, and makes me think that people who suggest this to be the case either don't stutter that bad or fail to tell the whole story about the circumstances in which they succeeded. Interviews are first impression type situations, and sometimes it doesn't matter how much you know, or how confident you are in your abilities. Giving off the "wrong" first impression because of having a literal handicap that manifests in tics that are commonly associated with a lack of confidence, fear, and nervousness, is in 99,99% of cases going to put you at an disadvantage, regardless of how progressive or understanding the interviewer is. This is not disputable, this is not an opinion, it's just fact. Handicap-based discrimination in the work-life and career paths are just that -- simply matters of fact. And this is just looking at the interview situation in isolation. It doesn't begin to analyze how a lifetime of forging yourself in the context of the handicap has affected your actual personality. For me, personally (and I believe this to be true for a lot of other people with communicative handicaps as well), I am less likely to ask for help, and less likely to take space. This could of course be a convergence of many factors, although for a life long stutterer, it's near-impossible to tell where the handicap ends and the personality begins. These factors compound and make it even harder, keep me out of work for longer periods of time, and build onto a creeping sense of worthlessness. I have a [M.Sc](https://M.Sc). in Human-computer interaction and a [B.Sc](https://B.Sc). in Digital Media production, and have a lot of varied skills (software development, user research, design, illustration, technical writing, camera work, motion graphics) that should make it impossible for me to stay unemployed, and yet I have never gotten a job offer straight out of an interview. I got a Ph.D. position after four people ahead of me declined, which I didn't do all that well in because of limited time and a chronic inability to demand the support I would have required from my supervisor. I have currently been out of a job for a full year, and the interviews I have gotten have never managed to give me a satisfactory reason as for why they choose somebody else. Despite my (sometimes crippling) stuttering, I have traveled to international conferences where I have both published and presented my original research as well as held university-level workshops. I don't think it's fair to say that I have chosen a path that would suggest that I let my handicap stop me, and I don't think I have displayed a particularly significant lack of confidence (other than the normal imposter syndrome which is largely separate from my stuttering). I can do all of these things and still acknowledge that I would likely have been wildly more successful in my life if I had not stuttered.

Themes

Anticipation & AvoidanceEmotional ExperienceSchool & Work

Subthemes

Avoidance & SubstitutionHiding & ConcealmentAnxiety & Social JudgmentEmployment & Career

Codes (2)

perceived_judgmentsocial_pressure