What's been helping me, a different kind of cocktail

What's been helping me, a different kind of cocktail Just graduated from college about a month ago, and I just wanted to drop some insight on what has been helping me with my speech. I currently feel more freedom with not only my speech, but just I just feel more free and generally more happy/confident as a person. So here's a brief of what's been helping me. ( no particular order of importance ) Quick Background: I am 22 years old, just graduated with my Bachelors Degree in August and I've had a mild stutter all my life. There were times in my life where my speech and there was times in my life that my speech was not so great. I tried speech therapy growing up, but it somewhat had quite the opposite effect on me and made me feel like I was freak with a problem. Every time I went to speech therapy as a youngster I came out feeling a great sense of guilt because I had to come this place where I was being taught how to say words, something that I knew no one else personally was going on Tuesday's and Thursday's. It was a series of events such as going to therapy, stuttering at school, being picked on, and not being able to express myself that brought me into a toxic psychological loop of me just always having stuttering on my mind. I was truly ever rarely at peace with myself. This pattern ultimately wired my brain to produce impulses that would be the result of living a life in fear. A concept that bothered me tremendously was that my stutter would go on and off. There were times where I would kill a class presentation, and there were time's I would just point at what I wanted on the menu because nu nu nuthin would come out. As a direct result of this, I started becoming really confused. The only thing that truly helped me cope with speech impediment was playing baseball. I felt like it was my purpose. I didn't have to talk much, I had fun, and I was really good at it. I ended up playing two years for pretty decent division I university and stopped playing due to lack of passion and enjoyment for the sport. After I stopped playing baseball, I felt like I could no longer define myself as the baseball player, I then started to define myself as the stutter guy. Because of this poor perspective, my last two years of college were a struggle with speaking, except for my last semester which I just finished a month ago. I've recently been having more success not in my speaking directly, but as of who I am as a person and my outlook on just life. As a result of me just bettering myself, my speech just sorta started becoming better. I am not perfect, but I can honestly say that stuttering doesn't cross my mind no where as near as it used to, and because of that I am speaking just fine. So with that said, here's my recipe. 1. Music/Dance: I have always loved listening to music, but I've never been much of a dancer. Growing up with a stutter generally made me a generally shy person, so I never really was much of an open dancer. Music is just awesome, dancing to music just makes it little better. Kind of like have milk with your Oreos, you don't need it but it sure does make eating an Oreo a little better. As silly or taboo as this may sound, music and dance has played a huge role in my recent success overcoming my speech. I went to my first rave in March and I just had the time of my life. I was dancing and I just felt free. No one was judging me, and even if they were I was having too much fun to notice. Having a stutter obviously can limit the extent of how a person expresses themselves', hence us stutters are vulnerable to feel bottle up with our thoughts, emotions, ideas, and any sort of expression that requires verbal interaction. My stutter didn't disappear after the show obviously, but I instantly felt more free after that day. I had just put feet in the river of freedom. Since March I have attended about 6 or 7 edm shows or festivals in which I feel a little more free and free after each one. I've become so free that I dance every chance I get, doens't even have to be a rave. Dancing to music has ultimately allowed me to learn how to let go, and stop caring what people think of me. I am sure as you know, drug use is very common at raves which then brings me to my next point which is psychedelics. 2. Psychedelics: Yes, I did drop acid about 4 hours before going to my first EDM show. It was my first time and it was a very special moment in my life. During my acid trip I had the opportunity to really tap into sides of my brain that I really needed to deal with. I put some deep genuine thought into concepts such as my stutter, how that has impacted me as a person, I recapped things I was grateful for, prayer, where I am at, where I want to be, and ultimately I just forgave everything and everyone including myself. After the peak of trip, my friends and I went to the rave and just had an amazing time. Since then I have gone on 1 other acid trip, and two other shroom trips. The shroom trips I was involved in both took place at music related events so it was more of a pleasurable experience. The other time I took acid I went into it with an agenda of concepts I wanted to put thought in. Though there was a part of the trip where I was somewhat panicking for about 10 minutes, the majority of trip was excellent and I learned from both the good and the bad. Ultimately, psychedelics have just generally opened me up as a person and expanded my mind/ideals/soul. I am more at peace with myself and as a direct result of that my speech has improved. I want to emphasize that I am NOT advocating the use of drugs to tackle life's issues, because that is definitely not why I am sharing my experience. Psychedelics has been used as medication since the beginning of our times. There have been several studies that back up the use of psychedelics to help with psychological diseases such as PTSD, depression, trauma, anxiety, etc. Just like there are medicines that help heal our physical issues , there are medicines that tackle soul/mental issues, which is JUST as important in my personal opinion. So yeah, psychedelics have helped me grow spiritually, which has made an impact on my recent success with my speech. Just know that like any other medicine, if you abuse it, it will abuse you so just be mindful of that and do your research. Because it may not be for you. I must exaggerate that psychedelic trips are intense and it's not always a fun game, but I personally believe that if you're smart and are really open on growing within , psychedelics can be a valuable tool. 3. Being Grateful/Understanding the Process: I recently read a tweet from the infamous Gary Vaynerchuck that said " When you're grateful for what you have instead of being upset on what you " deserve " , life gets really good. ". That post resonated deeply to me because it really does make sense. Sure my life isn't perfect, but I know for a fact that I have more things that I am thankful for than things that caused me distress. We're human beings, we make mistakes, we have pain, we love, we get angry, we're impure sometimes, we feel, and THAT'S OKAY. When you constantly recap what you're grateful for , you don't have time to think about your struggles and imperfections. "I just have a stutter, which is DEFINITELY overcome-able" I said to myself. I really just started enjoying little things such as the serenity of the the sunset, a cold glass of water, FREAKING AIR CONDITION, sex, a joint, valuable relationships I had, you name it. I just started loving things a little more, including my pain, my past, my struggles. I started understanding that everything that has happened has made me to the person I am today. I started UNDERSTANDING and EMBRACING the process. I started realizing that THE PROCESS IS THE REWARD. You ever work so hard on something that after you accomplished it and succeed you just feel great? This feeling you get isn't an outcome of the desired result, in my opinion it's just the feeling of knowing that you overcame the process and came out better.....YOU FEEL ALIVE. So yeah, just start understanding that the process will bring you a reward much greater than the result. The way I can correlate this directly to stuttering is that I started realizing that all my past failures and experiences both bad or good have brought me to where I am today. I've survived 100% of those days and I deserve a fucking round of applause. I have gone through something that 99% of people do not go through. I gained the perspective that my struggles are VALUABLE. I could maybe help someone, and that's what brings me here today. 4. Taking Cold Showers: This one's pretty fresh (no pun intended), but I have started taking cold showers everyday for about 3 weeks. I've read and researched on the physical and mental benefits from taking cold showers, and well it's cool knowing that stuff but it really means nothing if you don't do it. Just take a cold shower. I personally feel more awake, sharp, optimistic, and really just feel more alive when coming out. So try it. Tips to make a cold shower more fun and easy: listen to some upbeat music such as dubstep, house, heavy metal, or anything really. Dance and move your body to the beat. I personally have so much fun and get so amped that I personally forget about how cold the water is. 5. Writing Notes Throughout the Day: This actually started off as me just getting high off weed with my friends and just typing down anything that I thought was funny. It could've been a joke I heard, something funny that happened, or just a humorous thought. I started jotting anything funny down. At first I would only do it when I was high with my buddies. Then I just started doing it when sober as well. After awhile, I was typing down anything I thought was worth recording such as killer insights, motivational quotes on the internet, a list of things I am grateful for, self reminders, good names for a daughter if I ever had one, and just about anything. Doing this has allowed me to gain a better sense of clarity with my thoughts , who I am, and what I want in life. Another really cool thing I like about this is that I am keeping a record of what's going in my brain. As humans we forget most of the stuff that enters our brain. Can you remember what you had for lunch on Thursday? It's really cool and beneficial to just look at your notes at the end of the day, and further reflect on them. So yeah, write notes dude. 6. Expand Your Knowledge: We're already dead, so let's just have a party in the mean time. The only thing that we take to our graves when we die is what we learned from our experiences and the knowing the impact we made on this earth. Learn some stuff, there's a lot out there. I do try to read but I listen to podcasts more than anything. One in particular that I keep up with constantly and recommend is The Aubrey Marcus Podcast. He talks about concepts that relate to overall self optimization. Also social media is a great place to explore knowledge and topics, just follow the right pages. As you're scrolling you'll come across some pretty magical stuff that just might lead to changing your life or even the world. 7. Exercise/trying to eat better: I grew up as an athlete and I was always used to working out a pretty excessive amount. After I stopped playing my sophomore year of college I didn't make too many efforts in lifting weights, due to it was something that I didn't enjoy. I was pretty inconsistent with working out, but managed to stay in good shape. For the past 3 months I've been biking at least 3-5 times per week for at least an hour. I'll ride around my community or go to the local biking trails. While riding I will always listen to a podcast. Recruiting both fast twitch muscle fibers and knowledge. Our body's are our temple, let's take of it. Look good , feel good ya know? We of course also want to maintain good health. One thing that is also important is nutrition. I've never really had the best eating habits because I could eat anything without gaining weight. Now as I am getting older, I am realizing that I need to change a few things, while right now is generally a good time do so. Though I am currently not facing any issues with my physique or health, I want to build good habits now that I can carry for the rest of my life. So yeah, join me let's try to eat better. 8. Looking Sharp: Looks are definitely not everything, but they do matter. As I mentioned in the last segment " look good feel good". Now I know what you're thinking "But Strider I am ugly". I know you are! We all are, all we can really do is make ourself a little less ugly. So style your hair in the morning, get some clothes that fit you well, take care of your weight! You never know who you're gonna meet sunshine. In just looking good I have more confidence in just about anything, especially my speech. 9. Be Social: Despite my Stutter, I have always been a pretty social person. My stutter wasn't very evident in day to day conversations. I would actually say unless you've heard me give speech or presentation, you wouldn't know I had an issue. it was high pressure situations that got to me. So yeah, talk to people. All we really have is each other, let's talk! Putting yourself out there improves your charisma, you get to practice your talking, and you get to develop relationships. In being social I am constantly hanging with friends, making new ones, and just being myself without worrying what anyone thinks. The more you talk to people, the more you practice talking. Also if you do stutter in front of someone, you'll often find out that they don't care as much as you think. 10. Be Yourself and Stop Caring What Everyone Thinks: This is a big one, and it's not easy especially into today's world where everyone is so self consumed in their image and what they want to be perceived to be as. We live in a world where people are essentially living fake lives, everyone's too scared to be themselves because of the reactions they may or may not get from others. It's totally normal though, as humans we yearn just to fit in. I myself was guilty of caring too much of what people thought of me. Be your weird self, life's too short not to be. When you learn to stop caring what people think of you, you worry less about stuttering because you're too worried people are gonna laugh at you blah blah blah. I am not perfect at this, it is definitely easier said that done but I've made huge strides. One way you can put that into practice in my opinion is by dancing in crowds. You'll realize no one cares about what you're doing on the dance floor. Everyone's focused on themselves and the music! So yeah, that's what really been helping me lately. I apologize if this seems a little unorganized, but I just was really typing whatever was popping up in my head. Good luck to everyone on their journeys!