Hi, First off Breathe, in through the nose out through the mouth two or 3 times. I feel like what's happening in life and the anxiety currently in your life is affecting your stutter. I know it seems really terrible right now, but just remember you can get through this. Just take things one at a time. Being 18, It's a tough time the uncertainty and almost being an adult. The part about not liking yourself, I think everyone goes through that. I can't recommend what you should do but I feel that you have to be honest to yourself about who you are and if your friends are truly your friends they should be there regardless. This seems weird but whenever life gets too stressful for me. I go for a run especially in the morning I feel like Im sharp. As your running everything flows away the stress and anxieties. After the run, usually feel tired, also that I achieved something that day. Also, I feel like you should talk to someone that you can trust, I think everything been kind of silently building up and it can be alot.