Hi there, you should try some speach therapies, there are good ones out there, it is very likely that one of them will significantly improve your speech and reduce the stuttering events. The less stuttering events you have, the better will your mindset be. Btw I can 100% relate with literally everything you wrote. I am doing my life-changing therapy in few days. If you put work, it works. There are plenty of people who reduced their stutter by 90+%. Start with the research right now, it will help you.