You’re not a piece of shit for something out of your control. I’m sure everyone here can agree stuttering fucking sucks. As much as it sucks its not worth taking your life over. You’re friends don’t wanna talk to you? Get new friends. Easier said than done sure but surrounding yourself with people who don’t accept you for you is always going to bring you down. Have a note pad with you so you can write things down to show to people. Its what I’d do when I used to go out and I’ve never had anyone have an issue with it. With phone calls, the first thing I get out is that I have a stutter and to please be patient with me. Its not easy, sometimes I sound like a car engine trying to start, but I’d rather people know right off the bat. Makes phone calls feel less awkward and daunting. Basically, what I’ve learned is, the more upfront I am about my stutter to people, the less anxiety I feel because its already out there. Maybe being more upfront about yours might help you too. It also weeds out assholes right away as well. I’ve had better luck making kinder friends this way. You gotta make do with what you have. I used to think really negatively too till I started therapy last year. Funny enough the therapy was for agoraphobia not my stutter but its helped. Take the time to write down the things you feel like you can’t do and try coming up with solutions like I just gave you. To make things feel less overwhelming pick one thing from your list at a time and work on it. Then when you have, move on to the next item. Baby steps is all it takes.