Things I missed in life duo to my stutter

Things I missed in life duo to my stutter I'm a 36 year old male and have been stuttering most of my life. Its at an ok level now, was much much worse when I hit my early teen years and most of my youth. My mission for the longest time was to get out of my shell, learn to confront my fears and stutter without being humiliated and feeling that others belittle me or didnt take me seriously. ​ Now in my adult years, nearing mid life I cant help but think how my life would've been if I never had this curse brought upon me at my most important teen years. I dont have any friends at all, but I'm lucky to have a wonderful girldfriend whos very supportive of me and never shuns me because of my speech. Shes always there and gives me love and comfort. ​ Sometimes though as mentioned, it just hits me like a knife to the heart. The idea of not having to go through all that pain, suffering, anxiety when my speech was at its worst and I could hardly speak, instead of hours of speech therapy and then later spending lots of money going to different psychiatrists, I could've been just a normal kid and teen, happy to speak to everyone and loving life. Not having to spend so much energy on that but being able to focus it on finding a career I enjoy, having some close friends to have fun with etc ​ How do you handle these dark thoughts? How do you guys deal with missing alot of your life duo to having a bad stutter?