You speak truth, stammering is one hell of a curse like I’m in the same boat as you I’m also learning mandarin but I look like r3tard because I can’t speak it when I’m the best in the class to write/type sentences or create language projects.I pray you find that one understanding friend and hopefully marry someone who loves you despite the disability, if only reality were more nicer on us stutters the quality of living will be better but when no one wants to acknowledge stuttering as a depressing disorder we’re just mocked and isolated instead of helped