I wholeheartedly agree and feel you. I am in the exact situation, I was reading so much about stuttering and stutterers the last 3 years cuz I felt my condition is unique! In all my relationships, everyone thinks I am so fluent and expressive including my parents and siblings!! It is crazy!! Before I go to a meeting, I am literally in the bathroom freaking the hell out, organizing words in my head to avoid the ones I will stutter at, replacing words and sentences. Trying to figure out a different angle to express my point! It is fuckin tiring, this year I have decided to do something about it because it started to affect me more when I got older, I am 35+ now. It kills my confidence and happiness. I feel it is the biggest obstacle in my life, but yet ppl think I am fuckin fluent and have no sign of stuttering. I tried various medication from Microdosing Psychedelics to Phenibut, but not one single good result. A few days ago, I went to see a psychiatrist and he was literally blowing away! He could not believe I do stutter but he saw the amount of stress and pressure in me when I opened up.. it is really too much. I should not analyze every fuckin word in my fuckin head before I speak.. so much wasted energy.. and it makes me anxious. He abd I decided to try a very low dose of antipsychotic drug, I am starting today. There is a good research done by Dr Gerald Maguire about the positive affect of low dose of such drug. He also a stutter and has been taking an antipsychotic drug for 20 years and it helped him a lot. We both should get in touch..