At 40 i realize i still have issues and it's really held me back in life.

At 40 i realize i still have issues and it's really held me back in life. So stuttering has been a big issue of mine that i want to finally address. I got past stuttering at the noticeable glitch level in grade school. But i never really have noticed how bad my communication skills were till recently when i tried some youtube videos. I blank out a lot on what to say and my rate of speech isn't smooth. I never consider this was still stuttering till researching what this is. At 40 im honestly devastated. I really contribute my speech to not getting past wage work, to never having a GF, work snitches blaming everything on me, and generally being bullied. all kinds of stuff like that. I mean I've done some things to try to improve my communication such as read out loud for 20 mins a day and i try to do a monologue on my commute to work. after about 2 years of that though i realize i probably need to do something a bit more. I'm hoping to become an EFL teacher in a year over seas to upgrade my life some but i really don't want to get up there unless i'm very confident with my speaking ability. I am teaching language after all lol. The big problem is i just can't up and see a 200$ an hour therapist. I'm going to have more practical solutions to this. :(