Thanks for sharing your experiences! I completely understand about overthinking situations and lingering on the moments of stuttering that you had during them. I used to do that all the time and I would face it with so much anger, and it killed my self-esteem. Obviously it is easier said than done, but you need to start to think that, in the end, no one really cares. I don't mean that in a negative way at all, I mean it in the way that the other people involved in your interactions/conversations most definitely walk away from that conversation and don't even think about the moments you might've had. A lot of times, my moments of stuttering seem a lot worse to me than they do to other people. I would finish giving a speech, or giving a performance that required me to speak, and I would immediately start to linger on how much I stuttered during it. However, not once has someone ever brought up to me (even including my family, who I would often openly ask if it was noticeable). About your two friends from middle school, I'm guessing that they just probably don't fully understand your situation. Yeah, people can know about it, but I feel like a lot of people treat stuttering in the way that they treat other speech impediments (as in they think it's just something you can work on and over time it will go away). I am still having some trouble with this aspect, but you need to start to focus more on yourself and less about what you think others are thinking about you. Stuttering doesn't make you any less of a person, and if someone thinks that, then they should not be a part of your life. I know it's not the best or most accessible option, but speech therapy has helped me tremendously with my mental view of my stutter. Often times, a lot of focus is put into the psychological aspect of having a stutter, since it can clearly cause some havoc in your head. If you want to talk more, feel free to PM me on here! I know I typed a lot, but I hope this helped at least a little bit.