You´ve got intelligent thinking but I think you´re going too deep into it. I can relate. I admit it can be a paradox. Thinking about something else can hijack your attention though. Your thought doesn´t need to be ´´Im gonna think of this to avoid thinking about X´´, but it can be im gonna focus on this person´s eyes and making eye contact so I can create genuine connection in this conversation. ​ Personally I like to think to voluntarily stutter, because the fear of stuttering will get me to think about it anyway so I like to combat fear with exposure. Never tried not thinking about it tho