It’s clear that you care deeply about your husband and are trying hard to make things better, and that effort should absolutely be acknowledged. You’re actively trying to adapt, and you’ve already taken some important steps. It’s also really good that you’re seeking more advice and being open to feedback. It shows that you want to be better, and that’s a great starting point. However, it’s important to recognize that even though you might not intend to hurt him, someone is still getting hurt—and it’s about taking accountability for that. Being neurodivergent or struggling with social cues doesn’t mean you’re exempt from being aware of the impact your actions have on others. Your frustration, your body language, your impatience, and even things like fidgeting while he’s trying to talk may still be causing him emotional harm. Even if you don’t mean to, it’s important to recognize that it is happening and to work toward changing that. Also, posting this in a group of people who stutter without thinking through how it might come off is a prime example of not considering how your actions affect others. This post came off as ableist and, honestly, a bit entitled to expect people who struggle with stuttering to help you understand how to fix the way you’ve been thinking about the situation. It’s critical to step back and think more carefully about how your actions and words impact those around you, especially when they are already struggling with challenges like stuttering. This is where mindfulness practices come in. Being more mindful means taking a moment to reflect before speaking or acting, allowing you to be more aware of how your behavior affects your husband and others. Mindfulness will help you pause and recognize your emotional reactions, giving you the space to approach things more thoughtfully. This will allow you to make adjustments before doing something that could hurt him, and it’ll help you find more constructive ways to express your feelings and frustrations. Now, it sounds like you’re taking steps, and that’s great, but it also seems like there’s still some room for improvement when it comes to understanding how to better communicate your support in ways that align with what your husband needs. Here are some suggestions you can try moving forward: 1. Use Active Listening Techniques • Paraphrase and reflect what he says back to him, not just for clarity but also to show him that you’re fully engaged. For example, after he says something, try saying, “I hear you saying [repeat back his words], is that correct?” This slows you both down and can give him the time he needs to finish speaking, while also showing him that you’re actively listening. • Give frequent, nonverbal cues like nodding or saying simple affirmations like “mm-hmm” or “I see,” which help show you’re following along and allow him to keep speaking without worrying you’re not paying attention. 2. Mind Your Body Language • Since your facial expressions and fidgeting are coming across as frustration, even if you don’t intend it, try to monitor your body language more consciously. Practice checking your facial expressions in the mirror when you’re not feeling frustrated so you can become more aware of what it looks like. • Additionally, take a few deep breaths before responding, particularly when you’re feeling exasperated. It’ll give you a chance to reset and avoid reacting out of frustration. 3. Create Communication Routines That Work for Both of You • It’s great that you’re using written communication for daily life and scheduling. You might also try writing down key points during conversations so both of you can refer back to them later if something gets lost in translation. If you have trouble remembering what he’s said by the end of a sentence, you can say, “Can I write this down to make sure I get it?” and then go over it later. • Use visual cues or a shared app for communication—something where both of you can write quick notes in real time to ensure you’re both on the same page. Lastly, remember that this isn’t about “trying harder” on a surface level; it’s about making deeper adjustments to your approach. Both you and your husband are working through challenges that are hard, and acknowledging that it’s both of you putting in the effort is crucial. You can be a support for him while also recognizing the toll it takes on you, but doing so in a way that doesn’t add more emotional stress for him. It’s incredibly clear that you love him and want to improve things, and that’s something to be proud of. The next step is refining how you express that love in a way that fully supports him and his needs. Keep making adjustments, stay patient with yourself, and keep seeking feedback from him on what helps most. That’s how you’ll both grow together.