God has a plan for your life my man. He gave us this disability for a reason and its tough. I often have those same thoughts of hopelessness and anger. I used to pray stuff like “if God truly loves me then he will heal me of my stutter”. But I realized when God says “no” to something, he says “yes” to something much greater. He will turn our pain and suffering into joy. Ultimately our life is in His hands and thank goodness we are not alone 😁