I felt this way forever. Now I really don’t anymore. But looking back, especially when I was at school, worrying about the stutter was a much bigger problem than the stutter itself. I wasted most of my youth avoiding things because of my stutter. Now I don’t stutter much but I’m old. Do whatever you can to learn to “let go” (if I recall, “Letting Go” is the title of the journal of the National Stutterer’s Association). I started a chapter of this once, maybe you can find one. Very helpful