I inherited speech blocks from my father and I hate my life

I inherited speech blocks from my father and I hate my life My father has speech blocks but noone else seems to notice them like i do as he talks very less in the home and everyone thinks he's like that but i know when he is having a block. I 19M, have inherited speech blocks from him and my life has been just going downhill. I wake up everyday thinking something magical would happen in my throat and i would be able to speak clearly and express myself fully and everyone would respect me and appreciate the knowledge i have unlike now where they think i am a dumbass and cant even think one straight sentence. I wished for a good college life, hoping to make new friends and try my luck with girls, but similar to school, I once participated in a debate in english class and it humbled me so bad and now I just go to college to give exams cause I cant deal with the anxiety and uneasyness it causes me. I am fairly good looking and smart so some of my classmates ask me for the answers in the exams and sometimes the girls try to extend the conversation, but I fuck that up so bad that they never talk to me again. Once the mask is off, they never see me in the same way they did before. Also I try to avoid women as i feel like i will not be able to make a good partner, like who wants someone who cant even order his food on a date without making everyone feel awkward. Also, my father apparently doesnt seem to like me and talk to me very much even though he knows that i am going through the same shit he went through, so yeah thats my life. I dont know how will i get a job after my college in the corporate world, as I know how important selling yourself is so thats fucked. Maybe I'll live freely in the next spawn, where i would be able to talk to anyone i like without hesitation and approach the females and be a good partner and a good dad. Thank you for reading till here, been a while since the last rant, and this is the only space I feel like i can vent