That’s some situation you are in. And of course the stuttering is no help either. Yeah, I feel for you. The only thing I can say, that has help me through my hard times, is to try to do the next right thing. One right thing at a time. You usually know what is it, just a matter of walking towards that direction, and things will slowly start to unfold. You’ll feel better about yourself, gain more confidence because you know you are making some progress in something, anything. Life is not easy, never has been. So don’t tear yourself up for not being on top of things. Live the life that you desire, deserve, one step at a time.