Now, slavery is defined as someone being forced to do something for someone else, without the former wanting to. In what way are you forcing yourself to do something you don't want to? Seems to me you're doing exactly what you want, yet the actual performance is not what you would prefer. That's not slavery, that's a problem with expectations. Everybody needs to perform what they intend to do, and nobody can guarantee what will actually happen. You might find it easier to manage your expectations if you incorporate the notion that whatever you're imagining, it won't be exactly like that. You should not expect _fluency_, since you know you stutter. Also, I think you'd be better off not referring to yourself in terms of hostility. It's not _your fault_ that you stutter, and thus, you can't be mad at yourself about it. Stutter is a thing that happens _to_ you. It's something that comes with your general experience, but you're not to blame (and neither are your brain or your biology or whatever). Literally, there's nobody to blame here. Blame implies intent, and there's no agency working against you. The only agency here is _you_, and you choose how you wish to perceive yourself. My recommendation is to focus more on the things you do successfully, instead of fixating on the things that went wrong (somewhat unrealistically expecting things to be different than what they are). You're not at odds with yourself. You're a complete organism in an environment where you sometimes have to communicate via speech, and sometimes stutter interferes with that. But the point is that you can manage it.