Don't struggle with stuttering and don't hold misconceptions that fluency is right while disfluency is wrong. I think you are too overwhelmed in your disadvantages. That's not a good mindset to live a happy life. I can say few things and you can turn to good decent SLPs for helps and don't treat yourself to those SLPs without board certificates or even training cuz they will be wastes of money and time, especially in China and USA.