Honestly question why God made me like this and what his plan for me is.

Honestly question why God made me like this and what his plan for me is. I am 18 a freshman in college never went to any high school events never had any friends all throughout highschool. Im honestly ugly too i try to lose weight and my face still looks fat and ugly. When I was little one of my classmates came up to me and asked if I had Down syndrome because of how I look, I have no money no job all because of this stutter. Now am taking a communications class and stuttered so bad and i would block on every word and all i could do was stare at my classmates look of mixed confusing, disgust and weird face expressions while I gave my presentation. I’ll probably get a bad grade and fail that class and fall behind in college credits and that dosent help considering my family is asian and always compare me to my cousins, and their friends kids who have all completed college in less than 4 years or were the smartest in their entire high school or college class. Honestly came back home and cried for 30 minutes holding in my crying noises because I know my family will probably come knocking at my door asking “whats wrong?” When all i want to do is cry in private as if nobody’s around Honestly dont know if theres even any hope. I pray to God to help “fix” me and he has never answered my prayers in the past two years and I always feel like im stuck in the same cycle every year despite always trying to improve myself.