Having a severe stutter means that you’re already carrying an enormous cross which God probably does recognise. The dilemma between indulging the pleasures of the flesh and feeling good for a bit vs renouncing worldly desires and dragging yourself through mud up the hill to Calvary is an eternal Christian problem, it’s extremely normal. This wrestle with the flesh and walk through the valley of the shadow of death is just seemingly (?) something we have to endure. Agony, I know. Additionally, in order to get to the other side we must never doubt our salvation because A : we don’t know God‘s judgment B : this is what satan wants us to believe to bring us down and C : we can be rescued from hell should we end up there (by the prayers of others, according to the Orthodox Church!) Encouraging words and advice (especially from online commenters ) are generally ineffectual against the brute forces of misfortune that dominate our lives but I hope and pray that these words can provide a slimmer of assistance for your journey through this temporal life.