How to deal with embarrassing moments and/or setbacks and/or bad days

How to deal with embarrassing moments and/or setbacks and/or bad days A lot of people have trouble dealing with bad days, myself included. Its easy to be in a good headspace when things are going well, but its not so easy to stay there when things are going poorly. So my therapist and I came up with a few methods to avoid the slump and the downward spiral into more dysfluency after a bad day or a bad moment. I am also a novice at this but have condensed it into 4 steps. 1. **Survive the now** without bad coping mechanisms. For me its negative self talk and contempt, for others, its anger and despair, drugs and alcohol or risky behavior or suicideality. All these things do not help. In fact they make things worse. Its better to just sit with your emotion until it dissipates on its own. Kind of like sitting with a crying baby until it stops crying without doing anything to escape the crying. In other words, sooth yourself, acknowledge your feelings rather than escaping or numbing them. This is how to avoid trauma. 2. **Rebuild your future**. For every bad experience, do something that makes you feel good, or that you are good at if its a game, sport, hobby, work, cooking. This is the best way to escape the ruminating and letting stuttering take over your life. I tend to isolate myself. no bueno! 3. **Correct your perspective**\- you are at war with your perspective and your expectations. If you are realistic and say, "ok, I'm going into that interview/date/party/seminar/wedding, and I am going to stutter a little and I know what to do when I start to stutter, this is what I have to do".... it changes the power the situation has over you. Thinking that you are going to be 100% fluent or more fluent than usual in an unusual situation is simply setting yourself up for failure. This doesn't mean that you should not try to manage your stutter, but it definitely means that you should give yourself some more room to stutter especially in high stakes situations. That way when you do stutter less than expected its a win rather than a fail. Change your perspective. I can dwell on the fact that I stuttered a lot yesterday, or I can focus on the reality that I did not have any breakdowns in communication and I was brave enough to speak all the same. Or that I was assertive and told my story. Or that I changed someones perspective or understanding. 4. **Create an environment that facilitates your healing**. There are people who make fun of you, who talk over you, who are rude or impatient. There are also people who are negative and toxic in general. There are people who like to pick fights over nothing, and argue for the sake of arguing or to give you cardio via anxiety. give these people a wide berth because they are emotional vampires. Instead surround yourself with healing people, books, music and art. Tidy your home, get a therapist, have 1 or 2 special friends- online friends count, listen to good music, eat clean food, love on yourself a little more. Forgive yourself. Take a walk, say a prayer. Just have "me" time, even if it is playing video games with good people who respect you, and will take the time to truly listen to you and understand your essence. Its so important! I hope this helps anyone who struggling today.