I feel so behind in everything. Stuttering has stolen my identity.

I feel so behind in everything. Stuttering has stolen my identity. Took a gap year off, for personal reasons. Now I wanna take another one off just because I’m scared my stuttering will ruin my whole experience. Throughout my gap year I’ve avoided jobs because most of them that are likely to hire me are customer service which I can’t do because I can’t even string a sentence together. Then I avoided loads of other non customer service jobs because I was scared of getting interviewed and kept asking myself “why would they even hire me? I can’t even say my name properly” Never born with a stutter it just came out of nowhere and has gotten soo bad I can’t even say my f-in name? Like “Martin” how the hell is that hard to say. I don’t understand. Hate myself cus of it. Now I’m just sitting at home doing nothing with my life at 18… Is there like anything I can do? Any anti anxiety pills I can take or sumn? Speech therapy didn’t help. At all. I LITERALLY applied to the same university as my friends just so I won’t have to make new ones or interact with new people. Man I’m tired of this