postr/StutterMay 22, 2023

Just a simple rant

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Content

Just a simple rant I am 16M and I am currently taking therapy but being told I haven’t been practicing when I have been, I had conversations with my brothers and reading novels or manga out loud.I even responded embarrassingly with stammers to my teachers or other students but something is better than nothing.My parents don’t believe I’m putting an effort into this then this makes me feel hopeless, I wish I never stammered I wish I wasn’t fucked over by a passed down gene in my family.I am very social, expressive and have a lot of ideas but I cannot say them and I wish more people in my school were to at least be a buddy and try to understand me.It’s sad how my life came to this as In elementary school I had terrible writing and so did my friends but I was so smart to translate every word they wrote and said it out loud to the teacher in presentations with no stutters.Now it’s like I live in a shell of myself this side of me can’t say anything while the other can say everything.I’ve been compared by “friends” saying you were so social what went wrong well my stammer went wrong and I got therapy almost a decade later which made it progress into something that exceeds a stammer.I wouldn’t call myself depressed but I would say I’m exhausted but yet positive/hopeful,I really appreciate my brothers and I have faith in God so I appreciate God but this is all that I really have.Over the years I have improved my typing ability, funnily it’s like I know where the keys are at without looking at them but I guess I’ll still be seen as slow and stupid if I show what I typed on notes to other people but as I’ve said something is better than nothing.I’ve always wanted to join the Medical field to want to study the brain as much as surgically operate on it so no kid has their social life destroyed like mine but oh wait to do that I can’t stammer so obviously my dream is crushed.I thank people who make stuttering awareness as much as the family members, partners or friends who help stutterers but sometimes life can be dark but there’s still light at the end of the tunnel well that’s the end of my rant, if anyone relates lmk.

Themes

Causes & VariabilityEmotional ExperienceCommunity & Support

Subthemes

Genetic & Family FactorsHelplessness & AgencyFrustration & AngerHope & MotivationAdvice Requests