I totally feel your pain and quite frankly it can feel demoralizing at times. It can be difficult to explain to people just how terrible it feels to not be able to speak freely. I try to explain to them that it's like your mouth refuses to let you speak like a normal person. I suffer with words that commonly begin with "sy, se, so." I wish there was a way we can rid ourselves of this horrid problem. Sometimes even a simple task as telling my name to a barista at a coffee shop for my order is daunting mission. At times I've even used a different name just because it's easier for me to pronounce that name rather than my own. Just know that a lot of us here on this sub feel your pain and that you're not alone.