Fwiw, yes, I had similar thoughts as a child. And while it wasn’t by any means the only reason why I am atheist, it was one of several triggers that made me question the beliefs of the people around me and helped lead me down a different path than them. Having said that, what you ultimately decide to believe is, of course, completely up to you. I would just hope that regardless which way you swing that you develop a strong moral foundation and live a good and moral life. Unfortunately, simply choosing either path in itself will not guarantee that…When I meet people, I choose not to judge them by what they say they believe, but rather, judge them by how they act. There are good and bad people on both sides of the spectrum.