Oh, I’m so sorry you’ve given up on life. I’m a 76 year old F who managed to have a successful, happy life. It wouldn’t have been so happy had I not married a professional man. I was saved from having to compete professionally, though my stutter was mild-moderate, but it embarrassed me anyway. It sounds like your life has been totally altered by your disfluency but there is new hope for stutterers who have neurological causes of stuttering. There is new research showing medication mediated treatment for stuttering. The NIH is currently performing clinical trials. Please check out Dr. Gerald Maguire, M.D on YouTube and Google. Two good links: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7118465/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32292321/ Good Luck, Sue