I'd recommend you to focus on things you can control. Having an stutter sucks, but it may suck way less if you spend your energy on things under your control, some examples: * You can't control how others react to you, BUT you can control (training your "mental resilience" and your image of yourself) how that affects you and how much anxiety that causes to you. * You can't fully control your stutter nor be born again without it, BUT you can accept that fact and not became ashamed of yourself each time it happens * You cannot avoid some jerks trying to step on your toes, BUT you can stand up for yourself when that happens (to be successful on this, it usually requires mastering the above 2 tho) * You cannot avoid feeling bad for something that happened, BUT you can take it positively, analyze why that happened to learn about it instead just forgeting about it (to probably repeat that mistake again). * ... It's not easy by any means and you have a world of (mental) pain in front of you until you do it; but as said in the main post I found the hard way that pain will come either way, so it's better to do something productive with it. And if you can't do alone (I didn't btw), look for help! Best of luck mate!