Self-consciousness - A bad habit when it's more than a small dose

Self-consciousness - A bad habit when it's more than a small dose I'm sure there are many stutterers are like me, in that we can't help but think about how people would judge our every action. Its as if we're a celebrity on a red carpet, and all the cameras are focusing on us. **These days, I could sense this feeling very vividly, that all eyes are on me.** In small doses, self-consciousness is beneficial. Some would say it's one of the markers that distinguish us from other animals. Children as young as 4 could look into the mirror and identify the figure as themselves. **I think the problem with stutterers like me is, we made a habit of only looking at ourselves instead of the big picture.** It is selfish in the sense that we're too self-centric, but not in a way that's beneficial to us at all. It causes us to control every action that we do, including how and what we should speak. It makes us less free and spontaneous. By the way, the feeling of *being watched* could come and go quickly. For example, we're running in the park; in the few seconds that we pass a group of people, the feeling of being watched could take over us, and then it goes away. What I try to do when I'm in this situation is, do some form of pointed meditation at the moment. For example, look at a tree in front or the street lamp and try to give all of my attention to it. If diversion feels like you're avoiding the problem, then tackle it head on; look at people who are making you feel self-conscious and try to strike up a conversation. I wish I'm that courageous. If you have any thoughts on this subject, fell free to comment.